All you can eat

We had a coupon for an all-you-can-eat buffet tonight. We have two young kids so we got there around 5pm with all the old timers. Here is what I find at buffets:

1. Very large, poorly dressed people

2. Very large kids drinking A LOT of soda and eating A LOT. This strikes me as especially sad since last night on "the Biggest Loser" they talked about the average person DRINKING 50 POUNDS of sugar a year through soda. That's about 20 pounds of weight gain a year. I am not a big soda drinker so this is an easy area for me to do without.

3. Lots of old people

4. A feeling of franticness to hurry up and get the next plate. I dont know what this is, but it feels like a race of some kind to eat and get your plate cleared and hunt for your next plateful. Maybe this is tied to sticking it to the man and eating more than you paid for somehow.

5. Just OK food but really, really good dessert and thick chocolate milk. I swear there was 10 desserts I wanted to try, but I really wanted to set a good example for my kids more.

Trash talk

Dear Husbands,

The small, decorative trashcans that you find in the bedroom and bathroom are for the following:

a tissue
the tag from new clothes
feminine products (bathroom)
q-tips (bathroom)

they are not for:
the Sunday newspaper
mail
banana peels or apple cores or any food
dirty diapers

Really, these receptacles are more of a symbol, a TEMPORARY place for a small amount of trash. We do not line these things with black industrial-sized bags for a reason. Oh, and if you see the trash can has trash in it, take FIVE MINUTES and empty the can!

Please take note, and act accordingly.

Respectfully,

your wives

Innocence vs. Naive

Today my mother in law asked me if I knew what a 'dildo' was.

Let me back track, it started innocently enough with a birthday wish phone call. One conversation led to another which led to her telling me about her husband's friend who sends him "dirty jokes" through the email. I laughed and said maybe Dad enjoyed them, to which she responded I don't even know if he knows what they mean.

"He sent one about a Dill pickle or pickle... let me think..." she said. "Oh, yeah, a DILDO! Do you even know what that is?"

Of course, there was a pause because I wondered if she was serious, if I should admit that I knew etc.

"Uh, yeah..." I said.

"Well I got the email while Josh and Lisa were here," she said of her daughter and husband. "And LISA knew! I said 'What were you raised on the streets?!'"

So many things did I love about this conversation: the fact that she thought of a dill pickle and then that she thought that her daughter was raised on the streets if she knew, and then that she told me about it.

I always wonder rasing my kids what I want my kids to know and not to know. I don't want them to be so niave that they fall for anything but on the other hand I want them to be innocent. I am not sure where to find that balance. Any thoughts?