Wedding vows: non-Independence Day thoughts

I seem to have lots of friends who are struggling with the promises they made years ago to each other. For one reason or another -- affairs or Bordem or communication-- couples are on the brink of divorce. I have been thinking about the promises we make on that day with the big cake: promises we make where we invite everyone we know basically to witness it and to hold us to it. Not for the "better" part or the "health" part for for the "worse" and "sickness" parts. There is an assumption in these promises that the bad parts will come and when they do you are going to stick with it until death.

My husband has always said he will make the vows once and that is it because that is all he needs. I wonder if married couples should make them annually on their anniversary as a reminder. Not because they run out after a year but because you need to remember that though part you are now in is part of the deal going in.

It will be hard. It will be heart-breaking and it will be worth it.


I, (Bride/Groom), take you (Groom/Bride), to be my (wife/husband), to have and to hold from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish; from this day forward until death do us part. I, (name), take you, (name), to be my [opt: lawfully wedded] (husband/wife), my constant friend, my faithful partner and my love from this day forward.

In the presence of God, our family and friends, I offer you my solemn vow to be your faithful partner in sickness and in health, in good times and in bad, and in joy as well as in sorrow. I promise to love you unconditionally, to support you in your goals, to honor and respect you, to laugh with you and cry with you, and to cherish you for as long as we both shall live.