The Mommy Discount

Several times now I have inadvertently shoplifted. ... OK, it happens all of the time.

It starts innocently enough with me and two small kids and my purse filled with drinks and snacks, and ends with me coming home with things I didn't pay for in my bag or purse.

Usually I have catch these transgressions in the parking lot so I look for some matronly woman walking in and I tell her the story and ask her to drop it off at the customer service counter inside the door (at Target).

Recently, the five-finger discount has increased from Target to Kohl's when i found an unpaid for shirt in my Chick's bag several days later. I still have to go back to Kohl's on this. I didn't like the shirt anyway. Overpriced.

No alarms go off when I leave these stores. The odd thing is at Easter Babies R Us did not take off the security ink tags. I didn't notice til Easter morning when the large plastic discs were still attached to my son's sweater vest and my daughter's dress jacket. They still wore them to church and lunch after.

Dear Liberal friends and/or Bush haters,

Most of the time I totally agree with you on the state of things in the world, but after listening to Pink's "Dear Mr. President" song I want to point something out: The President is still a human being who, more than we can ever understand, in many ways has the world on his shoulders. He (most likely) isn't a psychopath who only thinks about making money or oil. He probably sleeps much less and much worse than us because he knows much more.

I don't think Bush is the smartest, most well-spoken President, but I think he is a man, a husband and a father who I am sure he making the best choices he can. Even though I might not agree with them. Yes, our job is to challenge and to question government but I think its naive to think he is so greedy and oblivious to the humanity and the needs of the people that he taps his fingers together and thinks "how can I make more money not matter what the cost?"

That is just too narrow-minded.

To Do Lists

What if we re-thought how we write lists? I get so satisfied when I complete mine for the day, but that is few and far between. Lists seem to be added to all day and then at night I feel guilty and overwhelmed so I "forget" the list entirely. What if lists included:

1. Stop cleaning house 90% of the time when my kids wanted to play with me instead.

2. Choose patience when people are rude to me

3. Laugh instead of cry at spills on my clean floor

4. Work with my daughter on sharing with her brother

5. Work with my son not to push or fuss when he doesn't get his way.

6. Take 30 minutes to do something just for myself

7. Have more fun

8. Call my husband to say "I love you" and thanks for providing for us.

9. NOT vent to my husband about my day as soon as I see him

10. Remember they grow fast

Of sound mind

These are the sounds I enjoy, in no particular order:

*The sounds of someone else cleaning my house as I take a nap. I love the clanging of the pots and pans and water swishing through the sink. It's beautiful.
*Hearing my kids play nicely together. Particularly saying things to each other like I would say to them like "It's OK bubba, here ya go..."
*My husband saying something complimentary about me to someone else when he doesn't know I am listening.
*Laughing
*Silence

Jackie Apple-seed

My 2-year-old son got hungry while we watched our car getting washed. I gave him a whole apple, peel and all, to keep him busy. I wondered if he would eat the peel since I have to peel everything for his big sister. When the car was finished I gave him the rest of the apple in his car seat and we drove away. When we got home he handed me the stem. JUST THE STEM. I asked "Jack, where is the rest? The core and seeds??" He pointed to his mouth.

Date Night

We have been going to Krav Maga for almost two months now (see other post) for our date night. We started grappling now on the mats last week which is getting on the ground and taking turns being on top of your partner/attacker and working to get them off of you. (Wait, maybe it is a date night?! I digress.) We are in a class mostly of male high schoolers and I usually end up with a 14-year-old boy who is five inches shorter than me. I am not sure its really a date when we pull up to the Dojo and I ask my husband "Which high school boy will I be straddling tonight?" And he doesn't flinch.

American Idle

Ok is it me, or does AI contestant Melinda Doolittle look like a young black Lily Tomlin?